In our Seattle community, we’re facing a perfect storm of challenges. From the stress of upcoming elections to the recent decisions about elementary school closures, it’s no wonder anxiety levels are running high for both parents and children. As we navigate these turbulent waters, it’s crucial to provide a stable environment for our kids while acknowledging their concerns. But how can we do this effectively?
Recent research offers a promising approach. A study published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy has shown that emotion-focused parenting interventions can be remarkably effective in helping anxious children. Let’s explore how we can apply these insights to help our children not just cope, but thrive in these uncertain times.
The Power of Emotional Connection
At the heart of this approach is the idea that by strengthening our emotional connection with our children, we can help them better manage their anxiety. This doesn’t mean eliminating all uncertainty – that’s impossible. Instead, it’s about equipping our children with the tools to navigate uncertainty with confidence.
Here’s how we can put this into practice:
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- Acknowledging the Challenge of Uncertainty: Before we dive into strategies, it’s important to recognize a fundamental truth: uncertainty is difficult and often scary, especially for children. The fear of the unknown can be overwhelming, causing anxiety and stress. It’s natural for our children (and us as parents) to feel unsettled when faced with possible changes in school, routines, or policy changes. By acknowledging these feelings, we validate our experiences; we call this Name it to Tame it. It’s okay to say, “I understand this feels scary” or “It’s normal to feel worried when things are changing.” This recognition is the first step in helping our children navigate anxiety.
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- Embrace Change as an Opportunity: Every challenge is a chance to model essential life skills. When faced with changes, demonstrate empathy by acknowledging your child’s feelings. Show resilience by adapting to new routines with a balance of naming the feelings to accept the feeling, and finding new ways to approach something. Flexibility is taught by modeling, so as you adapt, say aloud what you will do instead.
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- Visualize Together: Instead of simply telling your child what to expect in new situations, engage their imagination. For instance, if your child is having to go to a new school due to closure, work together to picture the experience. You might say, “We know there will be desks, a teacher, and a whiteboard. What else do you think we might see?” Acknowledge the uncertainties too: “Some things we might not know is if you’ll have friends from your previous school there. Let’s use our imagination to think about different possibilities.” This collaborative visualization helps children feel more prepared while acknowledging that some aspects remain unknown.
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- Use Precise Language: Anxiety often thrives on ambiguity. By using clear, definitive statements, we can help reduce our children’s anxiety. For example:
– Instead of: “Maybe we can go to the park tomorrow.”
– Try: “We can’t go to the park today because it’s raining. We’ll go tomorrow if the weather is good.”
Or:
– Instead of: “We’re leaving in about 10 minutes.”
– Try: “We’re leaving in 10 minutes.”
This approach removes uncertainty from your communication, providing a sense of security for anxious children.
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- Stay Present and Connected: In times of community-wide stress, it’s important to:
– Limit media exposure to prevent information overload
– Maintain consistent routines to provide a sense of normalcy
– Practice mindfulness together to stay connected to the present moment
- Stay Present and Connected: In times of community-wide stress, it’s important to:
Moving Forward Together
As we face the uncertainties of school closures, elections, and all the other challenges that come our way, remember that you’re not alone. By applying these emotion-focused strategies, you’re giving your child powerful tools to navigate anxiety and uncertainty.
At Seattle Play Therapy, we’re here to support you and your family through these challenging times. Don’t hesitate to reach out if you need additional guidance or resources. Together, we can help our children not just weather this storm, but emerge stronger and more resilient on the other side.
**Reference**
Zahl-Olsen, R., Severinsen, L., Shahar, B., Stiegler, J. R., & Bertelsen, T. B. (2023). Emotion-focused skills training for parents with anxious children. A pilot study. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 49, 581–594. https://doi.org/10.1111/jmft.12643